SparksMarks

I’ve decided to make Tuesdays my day to post weekly updates about my project books/reading plan. I will probably do most of the reading over the weekend and that way it will be fresh on my mind Monday nights when I write the posts, plus hopefully having that deadline will motivate me to complete whatever I should be reading that week.

This past week I took my reading plan to a new level of nerdiness and gave myself deadlines to help me stay on track. I don’t usually have any sort of specific reading plan and like to allow for spontaneity in my reading choices, but since I’m trying to read a certain group of works chronologically by a certain deadline I had to create a concrete plan or I’d end up never escaping from certain time periods! I will still be reading a lot of books that aren’t on my plan so it’s not like I can’t just grab a random book of the shelves when I feel like it.

So far, the reading plan is going well. I read/skimmed quite a bit in the Norton Anthology of English Literature, finishing off the sixteenth century. This section mainly had poetry, the most prominent except for Shakespeare being Sir Walter Raleigh and Christopher Marlowe. I’d read their most famous poems before, but since they’re short and I actually like them (I’m not always a huge fan of poetry – I prefer clear direct language and that’s not usually what you get with poetry) I reread them. Those poems are Marlowe’s “The Passionate Shepherd to His Love” and Raleigh’s “The Nympth’s Reply to the Shepherd,” which is a response to Marlowe’s poem. I think both works are strengthened by their relationship and wonder if they would be taught so frequently if Raleigh hadn’t written his reply.

In Marlowe’s poem, the main refrain is “come live with me and be my love.” It’s about how perfect their love will be and has a let’s go frolicking through the daisies feel to it. Raleigh’s response is from the perspective of the woman being wooed, and she’s rather cynical. She basically says if you can promise to be truthful and that the beauty wouldn’t fade, then she’ll “live with thee and be thy love.” I enjoy reading these to poems together and seeing the word play between the two.

Also, this portion of the anthology had several brief excerpts regarding explorers, which I just skimmed to get an overview of which lands were being discovered by England at that time for historical perspective. It’s interesting to think about all of the lands that Europe was just discovering and what it would have been like to realize the world was so much larger than you thought. I also finished and reviewed Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.

I’ve also started my journey through the Bible chronologically, reading Genesis 1-22. Even if you’re not a Christian or didn’t grow up in Sunday School, you’re probably familiar with most of the stories in these chapters. The creation. The fall of man. The flood. It’s a rather action-packed set of opening chapters. One story I always find interesting is that of Abraham and Sarah (or technically, Abram and Sarai since it’s before their names change). God promises Abraham that he will have a son whose descendants will create a great nation. Being nearly 100 years old, Abraham and Sarah find this unlikely. Sarah thinks it’s impossible for her to have a child since she’s pushing 100 as well, but maybe he can have a child with someone else. Being a control freak, she takes matters into her own hands and picks out a woman for husband and arranges for them to try to conceive a child together. Of course, after she succeeds she’s not to pleased. This story always makes me think of soap operas. I know times were different back then, but does Sarah really think that’s going to turn out well? God admonishes them, but keeps his promise and Sarah does give birth to a son, Isaac.

Something interesting that crossed my mind when reading this was about their ages. I recently read Nomadby Ayaan Hirsi Ali (review to come soon!), and she mentions that her grandmother counted years by seasons, not actual years. That’s how people has recently as a generation ago counted time in Somalia, and possibly that continues in other areas today. I wonder if these lengthy lifetimes we see in the Bible are actually counted in seasons instead of years. I’ve always assumed there was some sort of explanation like that, since our calendar has only been in place a few centuries. In the middle east the seasons usually meant rainy seasons, which varied from year to year, so it would probably not be possible to guess an actual age from the ages listed in the Bible because it wouldn’t be consistent, but it’s interesting to think about.

Finally, I started The Story of Artof E. H. Gombrich by reading the introduction. Over two-thirds of this book are beautiful photos of the artwork discussed. This is normally a textbook, but I have the “pocket” version (not that it would fit in anyone’s pocket!). I thought it was nice that it comes with two bookmark ribbons, one for tracking your place in the text and the other for the photo section. That makes flipping back and forth easier. In the textbook, they photos are interspersed in the text. Although that’s the way Gombrich preferred it, it’s kind of nice to have them separated. I focus on the photos more than I would if they were together since I have to flip to another section. It causes me to pause and review them longer rather than just glancing at them and moving on. I like his writing style from the intro and am excited to get further into this one!

 I was familiar with the story of Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe before reading it. I read Faust by Goethe in college, which follows the same story but in an expanded novel form. I enjoyed that story, so I expected to like Dr. Faustus as well.

The story is about a man who makes a deal with the devil. The devil can have his soul in exchange for 24 years of knowledge and pleasure. Of course, this doesn’t end well.

I like the basics of the story – the idea of being tempted, the quest for knowledge, that getting what you want isn’t always a good thing. But while Faust had a lot of depth, I felt that Dr. Faustus just skimmed the surface of the story and used a lot of filler “comedy” scenes.

The beginning and the end were strong and mirrored each other nicely. Dr. Faustus begins by wanting to have infinite knowledge, to be more than human. In the end, he realizes that by giving his soul away he has lost his humanity and has an eternity of torture ahead of him. He wishes he were an animal, who lives and dies with no soul to linger on forever.

When I read the intro to my edition after reading the play, I saw that it is speculated that Marlowe wrote only the beginning and the end of the play and that collaborators wrote much of the middle. Perhaps that’s part of the reason for the unevenness. It also didn’t appear until about 18 months after his death, causing some scholars to wonder if Marlowe left it unfinished and others completed the work after his death. I should also note that there are two texts of Dr. Faustus. I read the A text, which is considered to be closer to what Marlowe actually wrote. The B text appeared after the A text and is much longer and the language is very different. The Norton Anthology includes the A text and the copy I happened to own was also the A text so that’s the version I read. Most scholars today tend to favor that version.

Overall, I would encourage you to read Faust by Goethe if you’re interested in this story, unless you just want a quick overview of the story.

One goal I have for this renewed attempt at keeping up my book blog is to write more posts that aren’t a direct book review. The mast majority of posts will remain reviews, but I’d like a few more conversational posts, things like talking about various literary issues or project updates. I think this will keep me from feeling like I’m stuck in a rut with blogging, which is part of what happened before I took a break.

First up, I’ve added a new page to my blog that lists some of the books I’d like to read this year. It’s a slightly insane list, but that’s okay with me! I started reading the major works of British literature chronologically along with relevant nonfiction works about two years ago when my husband began planning a trip to England. We ended up cancelling that trip as there were layoffs at my work and I preferred to save that money in case I got laid off or ran away screaming and quit unexpectedly. I didn’t get laid off, but I did end up taking a job that paid a lot less and then job hopped again, and my husband got a new job around the same time so with all of that going on we’re just now planning the trip again, to take place hopefully on my 30th birthday in November.

Anyway, I reread Beowulf and the unabridged Canterbury Tales and a whole bunch of other stuff before getting stuck in the Henry VIII period. I apparently felt the need to try to consume every book about him, Anne Boleyn, and that time period. That was probably a year ago and I’m still reading stuff from that time period! I’ve limited myself to finishing the two books about them I’m reading now and then calling it quits until after I finish the rest of this list. I’m actually fairly sick of it now, but I bought every book I saw about this period for several years and had so many sitting in my TBR pile that I felt guilty skipping ahead.

One of the side goals of my list is to finish reading all of Shakespeare’s works. I’ve read about two-thirds of his works and once had to read 16 of his plays and all of the sonnets in one semester (while juggling other literature courses), so I think this is reasonable but if I get bogged down I’ll just pick a few and maybe come back to him later to finish him off.

After that, the list should get easier because it’s my favorite literature – Austen, the Brontes, Dickens, Thackeray. I want to read a little deeper into those authors that I love and reread a few my favorite works as I plan to visit some of the authors’ homes.

Finally, there are few non-British books on my list. These include Moby Dick, which I’m shocked to discover I’m enjoying, because it’s one of those books that scare me (mostly because I hated Melville’s other works that I’ve read as opposed to the length).

I think I will plan to do a project list update once a week to help keep me on track. If I know I have to post something publicly with an update I will hopefully stick to more books on the list and stop getting so many books from the library! (Don’t get me wrong – I love the library. But, having over 10 books checked out most of the time is probably not a good idea if I want to get through my list!)

And, feel free to check out my list and let me know if there are any major British authors you think I should add or a different book for an author than the one I have listed. Even if I can’t get to all of them, it will be interesting to see what people think I’m missing and I could read them after the trip.

My first Persephone! I was so excited when I saw this at my library. I’ve been quite jealous of all of the other book bloggers reading their Persephones and I’m quite glad to finally join in. Persephone publishes classic women authors who were popular during their time but who have fallen into obscurity for the most part. Good Evening Mrs. Craven and Other Wartime Stories is a collection of short stories framed by two non-fiction letters by Mollie Panter-Downes that were written for The New Yorker during WWII. She wrote for them for nearly 50 years!

Panter-Downes was more known for writing the London Letter for The New Yorker, a letter about goings-on in London that started during the war and continued on for decades. The two letters included in this collection provide a real-life frame for the short stories included, which all focus on England during the war. I just happened to read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society recently and it was fun to read the two close together and learn more about what it was like to live in England during the war. Both books do an excellent job of transporting you back through time, and I felt like I was really there with them through the stories.

I actually haven’t read many stories that take place during WWII. I tend to read either even older classics or contemporary novels, not much from that time period. And what I have read typically just mentions WWII in the background, such as C.S. Lewis does in the Chronicles of Narnia. The short stories in this collection focus on the women – those who are at home worried about their husbands, separated from their children who have been sent to the countryside for protection, dealing with husbands who want to serve but can’t, and/or handling strangers as houseguests for indefinite amounts of time.

I’m not usually a fan of short stories, but I really enjoyed how all of the stories in this collection fit together to show you snapshots of the effects of the war on English women. I felt like I was peeking in through the windows of one house, then moving over to another and peeking in there, then yet another. It is an extremely effective use of the short story.

The theme that spoke to me the most was about how their homes were no longer their homes. Many people lost their homes in air raids or were evacuated to the countryside. Others had to accept strangers into their homes, usually with a parcel of children. The thought of welcoming a random family with a pack of kids into my home indefinitely frightened me more than the thought of the men fighting the battles. Your home should be a place of comfort and rest and these women – both those providing a home and those seeking one – had to go without that comfort at the same time that they were separated from their husbands and loved ones.

A related theme was the change in societal positions. Women were joining the workforce in non-domestic positions, including upper-class women, domestic servants also moved into these types of positions, leaving the upper-class to fend for themselves. One story focuses on a woman whose estate is filled with soldiers. As a result, she begins taking her meals in the kitchen with her servant, who is resisting the change more than the rich woman. That same story had a man who came home to visit and it didn’t even feel like being home. The house and land had changed, and nothing would be the same again.  

Overall, this was a great introduction to the Persephone books for me. I’ve also got Miss Pettigrew Lives for  Day checked out and recently bought The Making of a Marchioness (which is by my favorite children’s book author – Frances Hodgson Burnett) and can’t wait to get to those as well. As we’re supposed to get more snow tonight I bet it will be a good week for lots of reading.

I’ve read so many great books lately that have made me really miss book blogging. Since I found myself writing blog posts in my head anyway, I thought it was time to recommit to this here book blog. I’ve adjusted to my new job and have done away with a few other commitments that were interfering with blogging (how dare they!) and honestly miss it. I miss making myself pause and reflect when I finish a book. I miss the feeling of community with fellow bloggers. I’ve kept up with many, but having been commenting or having any sort of interaction, which I miss. And I’ve also noticed that when I’m blogging I tend to read fewer books at a time and read faster than I do when I’m not. That’s probably because if I’m not blogging suddenly I find my bookmarks in the middle of 10, 12, or 14 books at once. That’s just too many, even for me. When I’m blogging, I want to post every few days so I concentrate on 2-4 books at a time to finish them faster (I’ll never be a one-book-at-a-time person).

So, I’m back! And not only will I post regularly here, I will start tweeting more about books on Twitter. My handle is @sparksmarks if you want to follow me.

I’m not going to review all of the great books I’ve read recently that inspired me to start blogging again, but I do want to mention one of my new favorite authors and the author of two of the great books I’ve read recently – Emma Donahue. Her latest work, Room, was all over the place last year and was short-listed for the Man Booker Award. I was skeptical about the premise at first – it’s written from the perspective of a 5-year-old who has never been outside of the room he and his mother are imprisoned in by his mother’s abductor and rapist. However, as soon as I started reading I was hooked! It is beautifully written – she perfectly captures Jack’s voice and yet it’s not irritating to read. I flew through the story and nearly finished the whole thing in one sitting (and did finish it in one day). That was several weeks ago and the characters are still with me vividly, as though I just turned the last page.

After finishing, I immediately headed to the library for another of Donahue’s works. I selected Slammerkin, and instantly fell in love with it as well. Donahue certainly has a knack for handling seedy topics. Slammerkin is about a prostitute, Mary Saunders. While you won’t like many of her actions, you can’t help loving her and somehow understanding all (or at least most) of her actions. Again, I flew through this book, anxious to know what happened to Mary. Although I don’t approve of her decisions, you finish with an understanding of why a young girl in the late 1700s in England would turn to prostitution. If you’re out on the streets and have no trade or husband prospects, what other option would you have? Donahue paints an clear, unpleasant picture of Mary’s life, and balances sharing enough details to complete the scene without going overboard on the sexual details. (Sidenote: When I double checked that Room was short-listed for the Booker, I noticed that Slammerkin won an award for lesbian fiction. In case you notice that and it turns you off, please note that there are no lesbian scenes in the book.) I honestly can’t recommend either of these two books enough! Run run run to your local bookstore or library and pick them up today if you haven’t already! I can’t wait to read the rest of her books, although I’m going to try to pace myself so I don’t run through them too quickly!

Let’s not beat around the bush – I haven’t been a consistent blogger lately. I launched this blog when I was striving to get a freelance business off the ground and was bored to tears in my last job. I launched my book blog (which I’ve since combined with this one) because I was miserable at work and needed a creative outlet as the job I had loved for many years withered and died under the hands of a new VP. I am, praise the Lord, no longer miserable or bored at work. I have a fantastic job that makes me wonder why the heck I haven’t been working at an agency my whole career. (But I’m glad I didn’t, as I made wonderful, lasting friendships in my old job and got to travel a lot.)

But, the only problem with having a job I love and that keeps me busy is that I don’t have as much time for other things. I’m also writing pretty much daily in my new job, which I had stopped doing as my old job evolved. Plus, I’m freelancing and managing blogs and social media outside of work as well. So, I don’t have as much of a drive to sit down and write when I get home. I also have more of a social life than I’ve had for the past year and a half as my job no longer sucks the life out of me. When I am at home, I want to spend time with Ryan, read, watch hockey, and catch up on General Hospital. I want to read more books without feeling guilty about not keeping up with my reviews on my blog.

And that’s the crux of the problem. The blog has become something that weighs over my head, making me feel guilty for ignoring it. It was supposed to be something fun, not an obligation. So, I’ve decided to take a blogging hiatus, which might turn into a permanent break.  I still plan on reading my favorite blogs I’ve discovered, but I won’t feel the obligation to be an active part of the community. I may still use the blog for the occasional thing even when I’m on hiatus, such as participating in a read-a-thon or something like that. I’ll also need to re-evaluate if I want the blog to revert back to strictly books or if I want to focus on other things to, but for now, I will simply offer everyone my best wishes and thanks for sticking around through all of the changes over the last few months.

At heart, Th1rteen R3asons Why by Jay Asher is a novel about regret. Hannah Baker has just committed suicide and has left tapes behind for 13 people who she believes holds responsibility. The story is told from the perspective of one of those people, Clay Jensen.

Th1rteen R3asons Why is  a young adult novel, and I wish more young adults would read it. It explains how actions have a snowball effect. It’s not just the final incident that pushes Hannah over the edge. It’s a lot of small things that lead up to her getting to that point. It makes you think about how your actions affect other people, something teenagers don’t usually reflect on.

My one complaint about the novel was that I disliked Hannah. I think that lessoned the impact of the novel for me. A lot of her early reasons that she talks about on the tape are so minor. I know that was Asher’s point, but it still annoyed me. I think partly because one of those reasons she shared had happened to me as well. I had a guy spread rumors about me too. And I didn’t cry about it. I got pissed off and fought back. The first time someone made a snide comment to me about it I slapped him so hard he fell of the stool he was sitting on and I went off on him in front of a room fool of people at a party. The rumors never came up again after that. It’s just not in my nature to cower under somebody like that. To be fair though, I knew I had people behind me supporting me and Hannah didn’t. I did have friends who didn’t believe me though, which hurts too. But I will always remember how Brian Ludwig kept offering to the beat the guy up for me, which was really sweet and made me feel much better even though I made him promise not to because I didn’t want him to get into trouble and because I wanted to fight my own battles.

I also disliked something Hannah does at the end. Well, two things Hannah does at the end, but Asher explained one of them really well so that it made sense in a twisted way. I really try not to give spoilers away, so we’ll just say she sees something bad happen and could have stopped it and does nothing about it. I cannot image not stopping it. Although I do think it made an interesting angle on her suicide – her own guilt over not doing something is really why I think she got to the point where she took her own life. She couldn’t go back and undo it and couldn’t live with herself. So, it was effective in that way for the story, but it made me not feel very sympathetic toward her. 

Clay’s reactions to the tapes was really what made this story a success for me. He had this huge crush on Hannah and yet didn’t see a lot of these things or know how they were affecting her. He doesn’t want to feel responsible for her death and wishes he could have saved her. He doesn’t like learning about the things Hannah did. I do think this was a good way for Asher to choose to tell the story. We get someone who liked Hannah and his perspective on her to temper what’s on the tapes. I think just hearing Hannah’s voice would have greatly lessened the impact. Instead, we get Hannah’s voice intermingled with Clay’s thoughts.

Of course, I can’t really reflect on this book without reflecting on my own regrets. I can go back to one moment in my life where if I had just said “yes” instead of “no” everything would have been different. On one hand, you feel silly thinking like that. I’m not God, and surely what I did or said in one moment can’t have that much of an impact on other people. But I did have such a moment, and that’s really what Th1rteen R3asons Why is about.  

Sure, there are hundreds of other moments I could choose to think about where I should have done something differently, but none of them are so clearly obvious as this one. I can clearly see two timelines separating from that moment, the real one and the imagined one. What’s interesting is that at that moment when I couldn’t get the word “yes” out even though I wanted to, I could see what I thought would be the future if I said yes. And I thought it would only lead to me hurting him, an eventual awful break up, and us both being worse of than we were then, without trying to make a go at it.

And I was probably right about those things. It wouldn’t have lasted, it would have been hard, and maybe I wouldn’t have the wonderful life I have now. But. But if I had said “yes” I would have kept a different chain of events from happening. Perhaps I would have saved a life. But then I would have prevented another life from being born. And maybe I wouldn’t have saved a life. Maybe he still would have done it anyway, when we would have had our eventual terrible split. I wish I could have at least said some of these things to him instead of crying and not being able to speak. I wanted to say “yes” but couldn’t get the words out. I really didn’t even say “no,” I just shook my head and “I can’t” through my tears and then he left.

After it happened it was so hard to go in to the front living room of my house, where we had that talk. We usually only used that room for holidays, and it was like I could still see him sitting there and walking away and me not stopping him. I was almost glad when that house was destroyed by a tornado so I didn’t have to go into that room anymore. 

I guess the point of this post, and of the book, is just to say that you never know how your actions will affect others. Be nice to people. Think before you speak. Treat others with respect. Don’t spread rumors. And don’t ever ask somebody what their biggest regret is during a job interview, like someone did to me!

I am so so behind on book reviews – I’ve been more in the mood for reading than for writing – so I decided to do a book review medley to catch up faster.

First up is Someone Like You, a young adult book by Sarah Dessen. I’ve read a review reviews of Dessen’s books around the blogosphere that were all positive and made her sound like a good choice for research for a novel I’m trying to write. Trying being the operative word!

I wish that I had read Dessen’s novels when I was younger. She does an excellent job of sounding like a teenager and I think they would have been easy to identify with. But I pretty much refused to go to the young adult section after about sixth grade, so part of me wonders how many young adults really read young adult books. Obviously there are wildly successful YA books now such as Harry Potter, Twilight (boo hiss), and The Hunger Games. But do teenagers read many other young adult books?

Someone Like You is the story of a two best friends in high school. One of them gets pregnant immediately before her boyfriend dies in an accident. Don’t worry – that’s on the back of the book. The story is from her best friend’s point of view, as she tries to help her friend and starts falling in love with someone herself.

I felt like both relationships were portrayed very realistically. The love story felt real – not overly sappy like some high school love stories tend to be. But the real story is in how she stands up for her best friend and stands by her when everyone else turns against her. If you like young adult fiction, I recommend Dessen and plan to check out some of her other books.

I had high hopes for My Name Is Memoryby Ann Brashares. I saw a few good reviews for it and it was compared to The Time Traveler’s Wife, which I loved. I knew that was probably hyperbole, but still thought I would enjoy it. The premise is that reincarnation is real. The main character is a rarity – he remembers his previous lives. And he remembers the girl he has loved throughout history, but she doesn’t remember him. The story goes back and forth between the present and different point in history.

This sounds like a story I would normally really enjoy. Instead, I’m amazed I finished it. It was horribly boring. I think part of that was the writing, which just didn’t keep me interested, but part of it was that when you know the characters will be reincarnated, it took away the drama. Who cares if they die or end up happy? It’s just going to happen all over again. Nothing mattered.

Also, there was one rather gross part. You would often reincarnate and be connected to many of the same people. The main character was once reincarnated to be the brother of his wife from a previous life. That was just gross! No one but him realized it, but still. Yuck. Clearly other people have enjoyed this book from the reviews, but I just can’t recommend it.

 I’ve written about Alexander McCall Smith’s 44 Scotland Street series before. I finished up booke three and four in the series, Love Over Scotland and The World According to Bertie. His novels are just a good, fun time. Bertie is one of the best child characters around. He manages to make even me want to run and rescue him from his terrible parents.

Both of these books featured good Cyril stories as well. Cyril is a dog, a very well written dog, with a gold tooth and a love for his owner. I almost cried when he and his owner Angus were reunited. I think that was one of the best reunion scenes I’ve ever read. It was so sweet, this older man and his best friend Cyril back together again. I’m not usually a fan of dog stories, but you can’t help but love Cyril.

I was also quite surprised by the love story turn of events involving Matthew. I let out a happy gasp of surprise! I won’t ruin it for you, but it made me quite happy. I hope they make it work in the next novel.

And last up for this post is Mini Shopaholicby Sophie Kinsella. Kinsella’s Shopaholic series is another great source of fun, light reading. Although I did still enjoy this one, I feel like she may be reaching the end of the rope with this series. It just didn’t keep me quite as interested and I found myself getting annoyed with Becky more than usual.

That may have had something to do with the premise of this one, because Becky’s two-year-old daughter is turning into a shopaholic herself. I guess I just don’t think it’s as funny to see that behavior in a kid and for the parent to not recognize it. It just annoyed me. I think if you’re a fan of the series it’s still worth checking out, but it’s definitely not as strong as her other ones.

She’s clearly not done yet though, because from the ending it’s quite clear that there will be another book and what it will be about. Oddly, it actually sounds a bit more interesting, so maybe the series will pick back up with that one.

Apparently Amazon Affiliates doesn't like the original cover. I hate movie tie-in covers.

I finally gave in and read Eat Pray Love. I’ve been on a bit of streak with actually liking several wildly popular books so I decided to give Eat Pray Love a try. I like travel books, so why not? I have mixed feelings about the book after finishing it. I identified with certain aspects of Gilbert’s life, but found a lot of book to be rather boring. I caught myself starting to read extremely fast in several places, verging on skimming. Her writing just didn’t win me over, even though there were a few high points.

I did really enjoy the Italy section though, which focuses in on pleasure. And overall, I think a lot of the book was about finding yourself and making time for yourself rather than sinking so fully into another person that you lose yourself, the way Gilbert did with her ex-husband and ex-boyfriend.

Rather than focus on a typical book review since this book has been reviewed all over the place, I decided to reflect on my own efforts to make time for myself. People often wonder how I have time to read an average of two books a week, especially since I usually read more literary books. (Compared to a lot of the book blogging world, that’s nothing!) Others wonder how I have time to watch two (and until recently three!) soap operas, never missing an episode of General Hospital and rarely missing an episode of One Life to Live. (The recently axed soap is All My Children, which has been dreadful lately.) I’m also happily married and spend lots of time with my husband. Except for my recent two-month stint as an online marketing manager, I’ve had demanding jobs my whole career. Since co-workers and friends are usually surprised by this, I decided to share my secrets, small though they may be.

1. Make time to do what you love. You have to be determined to make time for the things you want to do. Sometimes life tries to get in the way. In addition to just doing things I like when I want to, I also schedule time for it. If I go more than a day or two without reading much, then I block out time to do some solid reading. I block out an evening a week to catch up on my TV shows, as silly as that may sound. Thursday nights are my TV night. I look forward to having a night to do absolutely nothing productive! And I devote Saturdays to fun. No catching up with work and usually no chores, just fun.
2. Cut down on activities you don’t like. I hate cleaning. And cooking. And most things domestic. Clearly, I can’t just cut those things out completely. I did have a maid for a short time when I had a huge project at work and it was wonderful, but it actually created more work for me! The maid cleaned, but didn’t tidy up, so we had to make sure everything was tidy before she came. As clutter doesn’t really bother my husband and me, we ended up doing a lot more than we did without the maid. We aren’t slobs and our house isn’t gross or hoarder-like, but piles of books and magazines and video games everywhere doesn’t bother us. In fact we like it. And we usually only clean once things start getting visibly dusty/dirty, which usually is once a month, not once every week or two weeks like most people. I do spot vacuum more often because of our cats though. I also sometimes cut corners by say, just throwing the towels in the closet instead of folding them. Why does it matter if they’re folded? And we cook a lot of convenience meals because we don’t like cooking. It’s worth the extra money.
3. Learn to say no. I often hear people complain about things they have to do, appointments they have to keep, tasks they have to perform, that are all things they agreed to voluntarily. If you don’t want to do something, say no! I rarely feel obligated to say yes to a social obligation or volunteer duty. When I do say yes, it’s because I truly thing I’ll enjoy it or it’s absolutely necessary.
4. Don’t have kids. Ha! I’m mostly kidding. But, part of the reason I don’t want kids is because I don’t think it’s something that will really bring me pleasure. Yes, I think if I had them I would convince myself that they do because at that point you’re stuck and have to make the best of it, but I don’t think they would truly bring me more pleasure than my life right now. I don’t want to give up being able to do what I want to do. I’d much rather read than change diapers or care for a baby!
5. Prioritize. Even out of the activities you like, you need to prioritize. You may not be able to do them all, or do them all as much as you’d like. Recently, I had decided to participate in a fantasy hockey league, but just decided to bow out because I’m starting to be spread a little thin. It would have been fun, but not at the expense of the other things I’d prefer to be doing. Even when it comes to reading, if I’m reading a book that’s just not doing anything for me, I try to stop reading it and move on to something else. And with my soaps, if there’s a story that’s really not working or a character who bores me to tears, I’ll just fast forward through that section.

I’m not sure if those are really secrets. Maybe I’m just more laid back when it comes to certain things, and selfish enough to focus on myself really often! I’ve never been in danger of losing myself to a man the way Gilbert did in her past. It’s also why I honestly believe I’ll never change my mind on the kids issue. Or become better at housekeeping. I hope it helped you find a way to find a little more time to focus on whatever it is that makes you happy!   

Join the conversation: Have you read Eat Pray Love? What did you think? What do you do to make time for yourself?

This week, Sept. 25 through October 2, is Banned Books Week. I usually try to read a book from the list of most banned books, but since I have quite a few library books that I need to return at the end of the week I’m not sure if I’ll actually start and finish one in time. I’m thinking about Of Mice and Men because I’ve actually never read it. Most people read this in high school, and since it’s short a lot of people who didn’t usually actually read their English assignments actually read it. At my school, the honors class read a different set of books than the regular classes, which read Of Mice and Men. I think The Great Gatsby was the one we read in it’s place, but I could be wrong. We also read The Scarlett Letter, The Crucible, and a few other works in that class so I’m not positive, but that fits the timeframe the best. I think I’ll like The Great Gatsby a lot better than Of Mice of Men so I was fine with that choice, but I’d like to read it at some point. It’s also one of the few books that Ryan has read that I haven’t and I’d like him to stop reminding me of that!

In regards to Banned Books Week, I’d encourage you to take a look at the list on the American Library Association’s site and select something to read, even if you don’t start it this week. We’re lucky that we live in a place where we do still have the freedom to choose what we read and banned books are readily available through bookstores even if they aren’t in your local library. The Great Gatsby is right there at number one, and if you haven’t read it I highly recommend that you do.

I just noticed I’ve read 8 of the top 10, all except The Color Purple and Ulysses, both of which I plan to read at some point. I view Ulysses as the ultimate mountain to climb and I’m still not quite there yet! Glancing at the list, I own a lot of these, even some of the ones I haven’t read. Maybe that should be a goal for next year, to read all of the classics that are on this list. Then again, many of these are American and I’ll probably focus on British literature (still) next year. Maybe the year after that! You can also see modern works that are banned if you look on the left under the Frequently Challenged Books tab, where you can search by date, author, or more.

I also recommend Judy Blume’s collection of short stories she edited, Places I Never Meant to Be, which features stories by authors whose works have been challenged. Happy reading!

Join the conversation: What’s your favorite banned book? Are you going to try to read any this week?