SparksMarks

Archive for the ‘Memoirs/Biography’ Category

It was a little unnerving reading Unsweetined by Jodie Sweetin. Thanks to People magazine, I knew that the actress who played sweet, innocent little Stephanie Tanner grew up to be a drug addict. I thought that was sad, and somehow still shocking even though stories of screwed up former child stars are more common than not. When I happened to see this when I was perusing the biography section at the library, I decided to give it a shot to find out how she ended up like she did.

For some reason, hearing Stephanie Tanner drop f-bombs was more shocking than knowing she did drugs. Perhaps because I couldn’t get her voice saying “how rude” out of my head. Despite the fact that I clearly know that Jodie Sweetin is not Stephanie Tanner, I can’t stop thinking about her that way. And therein lies the problem Jodie faced – people can’t separate her from the character she played.

I enjoyed reading the first part of the book, about life on Full House and all of the cast members that I watched every week on TGIF. Stephanie was my age, and I grew up with her. I learned from her. I understood her. I had an inappropriate crush on her Uncle Jesse. Hmm…perhaps that’s where my love of musicians started. Put a guy behind a set of drums and I’m sold! (And yes, my husband can play the drums and the guitar, although he was never that into it and doesn’t play anymore.) I was jealous and excited when she got her first kiss. I understood her frustration with her younger sibling. I looked up to DJ. But all good things come to an end, and Full House did as well.

At 13, Jodie found herself unemployed and unsure. She just wanted to be normal but the kids at school were mean because of her fame. She auditioned for other parts, but casting directors usually just asked her to say “how rude” and then moved on. She was a has been when she’d barely hit her teens. Her older sister on the show, played by Candace Cameron, coped by devoting herself to her religion and family. The Olsens continued growing their massive empire that had exploded before the show ended. Jodie turned to alcohol.

At first, Jodie just wanted to do something unpredictable. She wanted to show people she wasn’t Stephanie Tanner. But she quickly learned that she’s not the type of person who can drink a little (or later, do a little drugs) and stop. Once she starts, she cannot stop until she’s completely trashed. She loved being drunk because she didn’t have to try to not be Stephanie any more – she was just herself and wasn’t worried about anything. She was the life of the party. People liked her. So she kept going, then starting trying drugs to make the party even better, then moving on to harder and harder drugs.

What I found most interesting about her story was that she was much more effective at making me understand how she got started doing drugs. I’ve never understood what draws people to them. If you’re drunk and wanting to escape your life, I can see how you might go ahead and pop a pill, especially if it seems like everyone else is doing it and having fun. I still can’t imagine actually doing that, but I can see how someone ends up in that situation.

I also thought it was surprising how well she managed to hide it, even from her first husband, a cop. How can you be married to someone and them not see that? You hear stories about that frequently – a spouse being shocked to learn that their partner was having an affair, living a double life, a psychotic serial killer, etc. I’m sure for Jodie, the fact that she was able to hide convinced her she was in control and didn’t really have a problem. Later, she even gave speeches about being drug free while still high! I’m surprised the girl hasn’t been able to reinvigorate her acting career – clearly she’s got some mad skills.

Celebrity autobiographies aren’t usually something I’m drawn to, but I really enjoyed this book. It was a very fast read for me and felt very conversational and honest without being saccharine or designed to draw pity. I hope that Jodie is able to stay sober and get her life on track.

Nomad by Ayaan Hirsi Ali is one of those books that make you want to get off your butt and do something. I expected that, as her book Infidelopened my eyes to plight of Middle Eastern women and made me appreciate my own upbringing more than ever before. Hirsi Ali is a former Muslim from Somalia who spent time in a few African and Middle Eastern countries before escaping an arranged marriage and receiving refugee status in Holland. Infidel tells the detailed story of her childhood and escape. Nomad tells of her journey from Holland to America, the stories of some of her family members, and focuses on various issues in the Middle East that must be addressed.

Hirsi Ali blames Islam and culture for many of the issues. She believes that Islam encourages violence in general and especially toward women. She focuses primarily on the need to improve the lives of Muslim women by providing them with education and opening their eyes to the idea that there is more in life than submitting to your father, brothers, husband, including accepting their beatings and abuse. She addresses the fact that as Muslims immigrate to the West, these issues are no longer isolated to the Middle East. Honor killings occur right here in the United States. Female genital mutilation happens right here. It’s not confined to huts in Africa.

Learning about female genital mutilation was one of the most disturbing things I’ve read about, and I hate thinking that it’s happening right here as well. I encourage you to read Infidelto hear Hirsi Ali’s experience directly, but basically the process involves removing the clitoris and outer labia and sewing the vagina shut except for a small opening. This prevents the woman from having sex until she is reopened upon her marriage, and then it prevents her from ever enjoying sex. This is done without pain medication. I can’t even imagine the horror of going through that process.

Hirsi Ali talks about how the little education she received gave her the ability to question what was going on and to take the opportunity to run when it presented itself. She’s very angry at Western liberals who talk a lot about feminism and women’s rights, but that clam up when it comes to Islam. She also challenges Christians to stand up and do something, arguing that it is much easier to convince a Muslim to change their ways if they still have a God to focus on and worship and still have the boundaries that organized religion supplies. I thought that portion of the book was fascinating since Hirsi Ali is now an atheist, but she’s absolutely right in her points. Both the liberal feminists and Christians are mostly silent because we’ve created this fear of offending anyone and aren’t able to separate someone’s religious freedom from their crimes when it comes to Muslims. While we should support religious freedom, when someone is mutilating, abusing, or murdering others in the name of that religion something is wrong and we need to address it. Nothing in the Middle East will improve as long as women are beaten down, and we should stand up and fight for those who cannot do so themselves. And I don’t mean the government – caring citizens should support organizations that help women around the world, whether that’s by helping provide education, rescuing women from human trafficking, or simply raising awareness of these issues.

I encourage you to read Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s books. Some of her beliefs may offend you (I didn’t even agree with everything she said) but it’s worth it to hear her story.